Friday, March 9th - Visit to Shenzhen & meeting foster family

We visited Shenzhen in the afternoon. We left around noon or shortly after, and it was a 2 hr drive. I think it’s probably only about 90 miles away, but traffic in both cities is very bad. There is a city in between Guangzhou and Shenzhen, and it felt like we never actually left the city. Businesses and apartments along the entire route. Some nicer than others, but you see that in the US! Shenzhen is a very young city in that as early as 1980, it was still a very small fishing village. In the early 80’s, the Chinese government recognized the benefits of its location and granted tax leniency to businesses who established themselves there. Foxcom is located in Shenzhen – the large factory many people have heard of recently because of the Apple products that are made there. Many electronics that are made in China are produced in the Guangdong province like Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Because of this rapid expansion – fishing village of only a 100-200,000 people to 9 million people in less than 30 years, the city is very diverse and has a young population. Many families migrated there for work including Jack’s foster parents. His dad arrived there first in the early 80’s, and his family joined him later. Our guide said the language is very diverse, and she doesn’t like the “young” feel of the city. She and her husband live there for his current employer (doing research on how to make the drinking water safe without changing all of the old piping in the cities), and she said she has difficulty talking to her neighbors due to the many different dialects. She misses her relatives and home in Beijing.
Our visit started with the foster family. They made us all kinds of food and had gifts for our whole family. They welcomed all of us very openly – 3 of us, our guide, and an employee from the orphanage, Ms. Wu. I really can’t put in to words what the visit meant without crying. To know that Jack had been there since he was 18 months old except for a period of time when he had back surgery. His mama didn’t like him being in the orphanage during the recovery so she went and got him out and took him home to care for him. All I could think about his how I would feel if I was in her shoes, and my heart was breaking right along with hers. I promised her we would keep in touch and send her photos and emails frequently, and we would return in 2-3 years for a visit. I would visit more, but it’s not financially realistic. Leaving the family home was very emotional, and John had to carry Jack out. All of us were crying, and there are very few times I’ve seen my husband cry.
I inquired with our guide about whether or not the foster families can adopt, but she said they must apply just like us and have similar requirements for age, salaries, etc… We met two other foster moms while we were there. The one who lived right below Jack was NanRae’s mom. I have to find this little girl when we return home. I know she lives in Chicago with the Harpers, and I have her phone number. She and Jack were very good friends, and I have a gift from her foster mom.
At the school, we got to meet Jack’s class and teacher. We were able to observe a flag ceremony and see drawings on their chalkboard that Jack drew. He was apparently the teacher’s assistant and very good at art! Leaving there wasn’t as rough as the foster family, but you could clearly see that Jack was sad.
The orphanage was about what I expected, but it still made me sad. I want to think that every child has lots of toys and space, etc…. Overall, it seemed clean, and the children seemed to be well taken care of. We got to see the 3-6 year old and 1-3 year old rooms. Children everywhere excited to see you. We got to the 1-3 year room just as the babies were getting their afternoon conge snack. One little boy was following me around and trying to get my attention. He apparently has a very serious heart condition and has to go to the doctor every month or he will die. His fingertips were turning blue and his lips were ashen. John thinks he may have a circulation / oxygenation problem. There was also a cute little girl in that room who has been matched for a domestic adoption. John told me when he joined me in the room that there was a young girl in the 3-6 room calling him baba. I think they all do that, but he really liked her. We had to leave quickly after I learned about that. I’m not sure I can handle 5 kiddos, but if we could have, we probably would have scooped up 2 or 3 and walked out with them.
We got to meet Spring and Michael – Jack’s foster brother and his wife. Their son, Marcus, stays with grandma and grandpa during the day so we got to meet him earlier. Spring and I have been talking since October which has been a wonderful way for us to get to know Jack! Technology is a wonderful tool!!
Overall, I would rate our trip as very emotional but successful! I would have forever regretted not seeing and meeting everyone. I think it was also good for Jack to get to say good bye with us present. Grieving is a natural step in this process and hopefully allows him to move one step closer to us as parents which I know will take time.